I'm Better Than You!

Welcome to my CMJF shrine! Aka a shrine dedicated to the feud between the wrestlers Maxwell Jacob Friedman (MJF) and CM Punk between the years 2021 and 2022. My friend Mick very recently got me into wrestling (mainly WWE, but this was one of the AEW storylines that they showed) and, well...these two captivated me. I know it's been nearly 5 years. I know I'm newgen. But they're all I can think about.

This page is a big WIP, mainly due to the fact that I'm still very new to wrestling, and I don't necessarily have all the information about these guys! But I will try my best. Most of my info comes from either Better Than You by Outside Interference (linked on the side), Mick themself, or fanfiction (sorry), BUT I'm gonna watch the full matches/promos and learn more info and update this page as I go. Warning for blood!

Some of my other favorite wrestlers include AJ Lee, Iyo Sky, Kairi Sane/The Kabuki Warriors, Drew Mcintyre, LA Knight, The Street Profits, Alexa Bliss, Jey Uso, Seth Rollins, and Cody Rhodes!

Some Basics

Just some baseline stuff to know if you know nothing about wrestling! AEW (All Elite Wrestling) is a wrestling network, the second most popular to WWE. It tends to be regarded as more hardcore. AEW Dynamite is the specific division that CM Punk and MJF were signed to (it just means it airs on Wednesday, as opposed to Collision, which is on Saturdays). Other special events will be mentioned too (for example, All Out). For our purposes those distinctions don't matter. It's just wrestling events.

Wrestlers have a persona that they play, which can generally be catagorized as either a "face" or a "heel." The good guy and the bad guy, for simplicity's sake. The stories that play out onscreen aren't real (some of them even have supernatural elements, which. Obviously aren't real), and this canon is referred to as kayfabe. This is also why wrestling shipping isn't really considered RPF, even though it's pretty adjacent. It's all in kayfabe. Something that was written/planned is a "work," whereas something unplanned/real is a "shoot." Most of the actual fight moves are (somewhat) real, because you can't really fake "guy jumps from the ropes onto another guy," but a lot of the punches and elbows are stage fighting (and sometimes it's really, really obvious).

Usually, a wrestler wins a match by pinning their opponent for a 3 count with their shoulders on the mat and one of their legs up. There's other ways to win, too, and there's specialty matches with different gimmicks, but that's the basic gist. Televised wrestling has both promos (parts where the wrestlers talk to each other, piss each other off, build kayfabe) and matches (the part where they actually wrestle). Though, a lot of times promos will devolve into fights. That's pretty much it!

Also. Little disclaimer. I'm aware that CM Punk is 18 years older than MJF. But MJF is like 30 so I think he can fuck a middle aged guy if he wants to. It does get a little weird with a couple of plot points (CM Punk was Max's childhood hero and they met at an autograph signing when he was really young) but like they are fully very much adults now and Punk asked him to be his valentine so like what am I supposed to do about this.

CM Punk: Straight Edge Means I'm Better Than You

CM Punk, whose real name is Phil Brooks, is one of the most popular wrestlers ever, across any network. He's straight edge, which forms a lot of his character/persona (he draws Xs on the back of his hand wraps, he has multiple straight edge tattoos, his catchphrase was typically some variation of "straight edge means I'm better than you"). He got his start in Ring of Honor (another wrestling group) in 2002, before moving to WWE in 2005. In 2014, he retired from wrestling for 7 years, before returning to AEW in 2021... where his feud with MJF began. Despite being a really confrontational heel early in his career, he's been a consistent fan favorite face for years. People LOVE CM Punk.

MJF: I'm Better Than You, And You Know It

MJF grew up as a wrestling fan, and his hero in high school was CM Punk. Up until 2019, he wrestled for CZW and MLW (independent wrestling networks), after which he was signed to AEW. He's a hardcore heel, and his persona is basically being a shitty little rich boy who bosses everybody around and insults the crowd. His visual trademark was wearing a Burberry scarf all the time and his catchphrase was "My name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman, and I'm better than you, and you know it!" He would usually make opponents sign convoluted contracts that gave him a better chance against them (or were just humiliating/painful). tldr, he's a complete tool that people love to hate.

The Story Itself

Exposition

MJF has recently formed a group called The Pinnacle after couping another group he used to be apart of called The Inner Circle. Most important member of The Pinnacle for this story is Wardlow, who was basically Max's bodyguard (under contract). Max has also won the Dynamite Diamond Ring three times, and has since been using it to win matches (It's like a really chunky ring. It draws blood a lot). CM Punk has been retired from wrestling for 7 years. He makes his post-retirement debut on AEW Rampage: The First Dance, hosted in his hometown of Chicago. He challenges Darby Allin to a match for All Out and makes a speech saying that he "understands" fans being disappointed in his departure, but that staying in wrestling was hurting him. He's met with overwhelming support and wins the match against Darby on September 5.

November 27, 2021

MJF is doing a promo for Dynamite with Wardlow and Shawn Spears (all members of The Pinnacle), claiming that "nobody in that locker room is on my level." He's interrupted by CM Punk's theme playing. Punk joins him in the ring, to which Max introduces himself and extends his hand for Punk to shake. He refuses.

November 24, 2021

MJF and CM Punk have a promo for Dynamite together. Max confronts Punk for his snub--"You really hurt my feelings last week"--and for quitting wrestling back in 2014--"it was almost as bad as the time you quit, took your ball and went home like a little bitch."

"I am so disappointed in you." Punk responds. "I had no idea your first name was Maxwell, this entire time I thought MJF stood for My Jealous Fan. Look at me, Maxwell, I'm in your head. Probably has a lot to do with the fact there's a poster of me on your wall." This of course being a reference to the fact that he used to be Max's wrestling idol.

Max responds by saying that Punk's insults were "almost what I wanted," a phrase that he says "kinda perfectly encapsulates your whole entire run here thus far, don't ya think? What happened to the guy I grew up on, man? What happened to the renegade, the ass-kicker, the outsider, cause you might as well be coming out here preaching Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect." This is a reference to John Cena's guiding principles, which is basically insinuating that Punk's lost his edge, and is now a PG, family-friendly wrestler like Cena.

"I know what eats you up inside," Max continues. "It's the fact that after all your hard work, all your blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifice you've given this sport, deep down, you know it, and these people know it. Your whole career, you've been nothing more than second best." He then ends with his catchphrase: "You may claim to be the best in the world... but I'm better than you... and you know it!"

Punk admits that Max is partially right--"See, I'm not gonna lie, not even to you."-- that he was a little scared coming back after 7 years. "But trust me, I'm not scared any longer. Certainly not scared of you. Because the timing might not match up, but I was selling out Madison Square Garden when you were marking out for Rosie O'Donnell." This is a reference to Max's childhood appearance on Rosie O'Donnell's talk show. Basically, he's saying he's had way more years in the industry than Max.

"You talk too much. Yeah, just like me, back in the day, except I always backed it up, and you can't back up shit without your backup! FTR, Shawn Spears, Wardlow, that's how you get things done around here, and I never mention you in interviews because I never had to." Punk rubs in the fact that he chose his first match back to be with Darby Allin instead of MJF, "And, boy, that just chews you up, doesn't it?" He says that he's happy to be back (And says he gave everybody free ice cream? Lmao?) and that "the only thing that I can think that's a better Welcome Back gift than that, is punching you in your little needle dick right here, right now."

The crowd starts chanting "needle dick" (lmao), and the two take off their jackets to start fighting. Instead of fighting, though, Max steps out of the ring and leaves.

December 29, 2021

MJF films a backstage promo with Shawn Spears and Wardlow, saying that CM Punk was just a distraction, and that his real goal is to get AEW's world title. CM Punk responds by saying that he never meant to mess with MJF, but that "sooner or later, I'll see him again in this ring. But, it'd be a real shame if somebody interfered with his quest for gold."

CM Punk interrupts Max's fight against Captain Shawn Dean. Max avoids him, but Punk doesn't attack him. Instead, he goes for a low blow into a finisher on Dean, making Max lose by disqualification due to interference.

Punk tells him that "this is your future, this happens every single time you step into the ring until you step in the ring with me, you little bitch." Max responds by giving him a match with his bodyguard, Wardlow.

January 12, 2022

Punk's match against Wardlow. Wardlow Power Bombs him over and over again as MJF cheers from ringside. Right when Wardlow is going to pin Punk, though, MJF stops him and demands that he Power Bomb him again. He clears off a table, and Wardlow Power Bombs him through the table. Out of nowhere, though, at the end of the match, Punk gets a second wind and pins Wardlow, winning the match. Max screams furiously at Wardlow, who starts to get fed up. He grabs Max's arm, but is stopped by Shawn Spears. Wardlow storms out of the ring as Max tells Punk that "you got a fluke victory" and that next week, he's going up against Shawn Spears.

January 19, 2022

Punk's match against Shawn Spears. Spears takes a shot at Wardlow, saying that CM Punk isn't "in here with a guy who's a one-move wonder with a couple of years experience under his belt." Still, Punk ends up pinning Spears and beating him. Max, furious, jumps into the ring. Punk lunges for him and grabs his scarf, but Max rolls out of the ring and flees before he can land a punch. Punk's left with his scarf, which he runs along his neck.

January 26, 2022

Max promises that the match "you've all been waiting for" will happen next week, in Punk's hometown of Chicago. MJF promises that "after I win, you people are finally going to get to see the real CM Punk, the CM Punk who loses his fake smile the second he doesn't get what he wants, the CM Punk who blames all of his failures on everyone else but himself. Truth is, he left all of you, and he left all the fans who loved him, and supported him when he was scheduled to make an appearance right here, in Cleveland, Ohio, back in 2014." This is referring to how CM Punk quit wrestling for WWE right before a taping of RAW that he was supposed to be a part of. The crowd boos Max, and starts chanting CM Punk's name. Max responds to them by saying that "all those chants aren't gonna stop him from turning his back on you again and then crying about it on a podcast."

"A podcast that you listen to because... you're a fan." Punk replies. "You pay to see me, you pay to stand in line to get my picture, you stand in line to get my autograph." He says that he stands by his choices, and that the fans support him anyway: "They don't love me because I win, they don't hate me because I lose, they love me because I get back up and I try."

"How about we test that real quick?" MJF says, as the other members of The Pinnacle emerge. Shawn Spears attacks Punk from behind, and Cash Wheeler, Dax Harwood, and Wardlow all quickly join in, making it 4 against 1. They hit him with a chair over and over, as MJF taunts him: "Why don't you get up now, Punk, huh? Huh? How bout you get up now, you dumb son of a bitch?" Punk cuts him off by grabbing his scarf and yanking him closer, but The Pinnacle pulls him away. On Max's command, Wardlow Power Bombs Punk into a steel chair.

"It is so apropos," Max taunts, sitting cross-legged on CM Punk's chest. "That the same place your journey started will be the same place it ends." He grabs Punk by the hair and screams in his face: "I'll see you in Chicago!"

February 2, 2022

The first match between CM Punk and MJF, in Chicago. For the majority of the match, Punk totally destroys Max. I'm not doing a full play by play for this one, you can watch it on your own. Plus the outcome is the part that matters the most for now.

While the ref's back is turned, Max pulls a piece of tape from his hand wrap and uses it to choke Punk. The crowd yells at the ref that he's cheating, but since Max is covering the tape with his arm, the ref doesn't see what's happening. Punk taps out and Max is announced the winner. But when the ref lifts his arm to declare his victory, the tape falls from his hand. Since Max won through cheating, the ref decides that the match will continue.

Wardlow comes out in the middle of the match, stepping over Max's prone body to stare Punk down. It's unclear who he's loyal to. With Punk distracted, though, MJF has time to put on his ring. He decks Punk and is able to pin him, winning the match. Then he sort of lays there on top of Punk and clings to his body...? Which could mean nothing.

February 9, 2022

MJF hosts a little champagne party in the ring with The Pinnacle to celebrate his victory over CM Punk. The ring is full of cardboard cutouts of himself, and he's rolled out in a throne. He also like makes out with this woman for a really long time (maybe it's his girlfriend?? I could not find any information on this woman). Like ok man you literally look so gay.

"I think I made it crystal clear last week," Max says. "That I'm the best wrestler on the planet. Not Kenny Omega, not Bryan Danielson, not Adam Cole, not Hangman, no, no, right now, you're looking at the best in the world." Best in the world, of course, being one of CM Punk's taglines. "And I'm damn sure better than CM Punk in Chicago."

Punk takes this moment to come out and interrupt the party. He says that since The Pinnacle is always ganging up on people, he brought some friends with him as backup, Darby Allin and Sting. All three of them have baseball bats. "This is gonna go one of two ways," Punk says. "I'm either gonna get what I want, or I'm gonna come down here with my friends and I'm gonna beat it out of you. I want a rematch."

"I just beat you twice!" Max yells. "You don't deserve a rematch--" But Punk cuts him off, saying that he's not talking to him, he's talking to Wardlow, since that's the guy who actually made him lose. He tells Wardlow that he "can be on the end of the beating these guys are about to recieve, or you can grow some balls and you can leave these jerks."

Max protests, saying "Wardlow hangs around us, not just because he's under contract with me, but because he's our best friend! Everybody knows that!" Which is catagorically untrue. "Just shut up, Max, gimme a rematch." Punk says.

Max agrees to give Punk "any match, anytime, anywhere," on the condition that Punk beats FTR in a tag match with a partner other than Darby or Sting. "Good luck finding a partner in the locker room who doesn't hate your guts!" Punk chooses Jon Moxley, a wrestler that had previously feuded with MJF. The two beat FTR, and Max is forced to give CM Punk a rematch.

February 16, 2022

Punk does a solo promo for Dynamite, giving Max his specific rematch request. He wears a shirt that says "MID" on it with the Burberry plaid pattern of Max's scarf. I'm just gonna put the whole promo here, because it's important.

"If you don't know by now, you should. My name is CM Punk, and what I am is straight edge. I'm drug-free, I'm alcohol-free, and that means I'm better than you. Those words, I spoke for the first time over 20 years ago, and they became the foundation of my career. And I can sit here in Nashville, Tennessee, and feel pride that that foundation grew into such a career that I have managed to inspire the next generation of professional wrestling. Some of 'em are sitting in the locker room right now, some of 'em became wrestlers because of me. And then there's MJF." The crowd boos.

"He tries to walk like me, to talk like me, he can never think like me. Maxwell Jacob Friedman fancies himself Piper in Portland, Brett in Calgary, and Punk in Chicago, when, in reality, he's just shitty little Max from shitty little Long Island. The foundation of Max's career has been a ring that he has used to beat opponent after opponent, and it's a ring that he won with help from other people. But when he beat me in my hometown, you would think that I would be furious, that I would be mad. But, to tell you the truth... Max... I'm proud of you. Where you stray from the path is you fail to retain the knowledge of the lessons that you are being taught. We need Max to learn some lessons." Punk taps a small red box he has in front of him.

"So I thought back on the toughest matches of my career, matches where I've literally left pieces of myself in the ring. And I think, Piper in Portland, Piper in Portland, Max, you want to be tethered to Piper so bad? You're gonna have to be tethered to me. And two days removed from the Hallmark holiday, Valentine's Day, I'm left without a Valentine, and it's very poetic that I get to ask you the question: Maxwell Jacob Friedman, will you be my Valentine?" Punk opens the box and lifts out two spiked dog collars, connected by a chain. He's challenging MJF to a dog collar match (pretty self explanatory. It's a match where the wrestlers are chained together by two dog collars).

"And I know Max is backstage right now pissing his pants, cause nobody wants to be in a dog collar match. Sometimes they take years off your life, I promise you they take years off your career, but that's the goal. That's the lesson you need to be taught, Max. So I'm gonna ask you to come out here right now, because there's one more thing I need to tell you and I wanna look you directly in your eyes when I say it." Max emerges from backstage. "I want you to take it all in, Max. And I wanna leave you with this: this picture." Punk reaches back into the box and pulls out a photograph. It's of a younger version of himself meeting a middle-school Max at an autograph signing, back when MJF was a fan.

"You see it, Max? I'm sure you remember it well. Possibly the greatest day of your life, and to me, it was Friday. Sunday, March 6th, Orlando, Florida, Revolution Pay-Per-View is gonna be the worst day of your life, and to me it's just gonna be Sunday." He gestures with the photo. "The price you paid to see me on this day pales in comparison to the price you will pay on March 6th. The canvas I sit on's not gonna be stained with your shitty spray-tan, it's gonna be stained with your blood." Max stares at Punk, who bites the dog collar chain tauntingly. The crowd starts to chant "CM Punk." Max starts to say something, but stops himself. He drops the microphone and walks offstage.

February 23, 2022

Max does a promo responding to CM Punk. It's another one that I'm just gonna have to type out verbatim, because I really need you guys to understand just how much of a crazy fucking tangent he goes on. Watching this makes me crack up every single time NOT THAT ANTISEMITISM IS FUNNY the way he tells it is just so ridiculous. You will see what I mean. It's very narratively significant, though.

It begins with MJF slightly teary. "You, know, I... I used to love CM Punk, too. You know, CM Punk, he showed a photograph last week, and he said that for him it was just another Friday. And, yes, you know what? That day meant more to me than just a Friday, that day meant everything to me. Lemme go back a little bit in time, 2007, I'm 11 years old. I got a litany of learning disabilities. Every single day in school for me was hell. But the one thing I was good at was football. I tried out for the team, I was one of, oh, I don't know, only two Jewish kids that tried out. I actually--the coach decided to start me as a middle linebacker, and that meant everything to me, because for once, I thought I fit in. And then the next day at school, I'm walking the hallway of my school, and I see my teammates walking up to me. And I'm excited, cause for once in my life, I actually think I'm gonna make friends. And they look angry. And in their hands, they're holding rolls of quarters. And all of them decided to throw the quarters at me as hard as they physically could, and they said 'Pick it up, Jew boy, pick it up.' I went home and I cried, and I cried, and I cried, but finally I stopped, cause I realized today's Friday. And that means tonight I get to meet my hero, CM Punk at an autograph signing. That day meant everything to me, and when I went back home, I made a promise to myself that I was gonna be just like my hero, CM Punk. I wasn't gonna be afraid to speak up for myself. I, this five foot nothing, ADD-riddled Jew boy was gonna become the best in the world.

"Fast forward, December, 2013. I've gotten stronger, I've gotten faster, I've got football scholarship offers coming at me left and right. But I don't give a damn, cause all I wanna be is like my hero, CM Punk. I wanna be a professional wrestler. January, 2014. You leave me. When I needed you most! When I believed in you! You left me! You left all of us! That's when I realized, if the best in the world couldn't do it, why could some dumb, five foot nothing, ADD-riddled Jew boy? So I went to college like a good boy, I packed my bags, I drove off, and I quit on my dreams. And I buried my happiness deep down, I buried my dreams deep down, until one day, I'm in my dorm room, I'm scrolling on Instagram, and there's an account called thewrestlingclassic. And there's a photograph of CM Punk shaking hands with Bryan Danielson. I was livid." This was someone that Punk had feuded with a lot on WWE. Basically this seems weak and fake to Max.

"I packed my bags, I got in my car, and I made a promise to myself that day. I made a promise that I was gonna become the best in the world in spite of CM Punk. I made a promise that whatever outcasted kid at school who was getting bullied had me to watch on his TV screen, and I made a promise that I was not gonna leave him high and dry just like you did, Punk! You gutless coward! You can choke me with the chain, you can whip me with the chain, you can make me bleed buckets, but I will not quit. Because if I quit, then I'd be no better than you. And we all know that's not the case. Because my name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman! And I'm better than you! And you know it!

Punk walks out into the ring, agitated and confused. "Is that true?" He asks, not mic'ed up. Max just stares at him. "Is it true?" He repeats. Max gives him one last silent look before leaving the ring.

March 2, 2022

Punk's reponse to Max's emotional promo. Another one I'm gonna just have here in full because it's CRAZYYYY.

"I used to wake up every morning, splash water on my face, and I'd look at myself in the eyes in the mirror and I'd ask myself: Am I the bad guy? I never really had an answer, and of course, I don't truly believe that everybody thinks that they're the bad guy in their own story, I mean, up until a week ago I was certain that Max was the bad guy. When I came here, Max stood in front of me, he introduced himself to me, and he stuck his hand out and I didn't shake his hand. Now, am I to blame for all these horrible things that Max did? Am I Doctor Frankenstein and he's the monster? Listen, I think everybody has to take responsibility for their own actions. But I don't think right now there's anything else that I can say that's gonna be more impactful than something that I can do. And in order to do that, I need Max to come out here, and I don't want--I don't want anybody but Max from last week to come out here."

Max obliges, and joins Punk in the ring. "So, here's the thing, Max," Punk continues. "I've done horrible things in my life. I used to be you. And I'm here to tell you right now that all that hate? It's not just gonna keep you warm. It's gonna burn you up. And right now, this is bigger than me, this is bigger than you, this is bigger than wrestling. This, right here, is about that 11-year old kid who's at home, watching right now, and he looks up to you the same way you looked up to me. And I might be wrong, but I woke up this morning, and I splashed water on my face and I looked at myself in the mirror and I asked myself a question: Are you the good guy? And I finally had an answer. And that answer is... I sure am trying."

Punk sticks out his hand for Max to shake. Max turns away, conflicted, and thinks for a long moment. Then, he pushes Punk's hand away and hugs him instead. The two embrace for a while, seemingly forgiving each other, starting fresh.

But right as Max pulls away, he lands a low blow on Punk, kneeing him in the dick. Nothing has been forgiven! Max's vulnurability from the week prior was just a ruse to get Punk to let his guard down.

Max rips his dress shirt off, revealing a t-shirt with the old photo of him and Punk on it. Wardlow and Shawn Spears come out with Max's ring and a chain collar to put on Punk. Max punches Punk in the face, splitting his forehead open and coating his face in blood. Spears forces the collar onto Punk and loops the chain over the ropes, so Punk is hanging from the side of the ring, bleeding.

"You stupid, stupid old man." Max says. "I'm a snake. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist. I'm gonna show you, and all these mindless sheep, that I am the devil himself!" Using Punk's blood, he smears out his childhood self on his t-shirt as Spears chokes Punk with the chain.

Afterwards, backstage, covered in blood, Punk addresses the camera. "Few people are gonna understand that being in this much pain makes certain people feel so very alive. I think you understand, Max, and if you don't, on March 6th, you will. You are going to find out exactly what you think you already know: that CM Punk is the master, and I know exactly who the fuck I am. You wanna call me PG Punk? You wanna pretend like I'm not that same guy? You want that same guy that you grew up idolizing? Congratulations, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, but you're not ready! On March 6th, I'm gonna walk you like a dog. I'm gonna beat you, I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world." This is a reference to something he said back in his Ring of Honor days (a reference that Max specifically would understand). "Because I'm CM Punk. And I'm better than you."

The Dog Collar Match

March 6th, 2022, for AEW Revolution. This is the culmination of the feud. I really, really recommend watching it for yourself if you can handle the blood and stuff, because it's really homoerotic, the commentators are hilarious, and I really can't capture the fast-paced tension with my dry-ass play-by-play here. But here's a rundown of the match anyway.

CM Punk's intro plays, but it's interrupted by MJF's. He barely acknowledges the crowd as he walks out, aside from throwing his gum at somebody. CM Punk comes out, but not to his typical intro music. He comes out to his old theme from Ring of Honor, wearing old gear from that era, too. MJF, being a fan from that time, would obviously recognize this. It's a symbol of Punk going back to his old, violent self. The announcer introduces the match, the ref straps the collars on, and the fight begins.

Punk slowly pulls Max towards him by the chain. Once he gets close enough, Max whips the chain into Punk's face and tries to jump out of the ring. Punk pulls the chain over the ropes like a pulley to choke Max, who's forced back into the ring, only to try the same move again with the same result. Punk tugs Max to his feet by the collar, but Max attacks him while his guard's down, yanking his collar hard and sending him to his knees. He wraps the chain around his fist, but Punk kicks him in the gut before he has a chance to do anything. He slams Max face-first into the corner, using the chain as propulsion.

Max begs Punk for mercy, dropping to one knee and frantically apologizing. Punk responds by kicking him in the dick and stomping on his right hand (the hand he usually wears the ring on). Punk jumps on the ropes, crowding Max's face against (basically) his crotch and punches him in the face ten times. He starts to wrap the chain around his hand, but Max ducks between his legs, pulling the chain so that Punk is bent over, and kicks him in the face through his legs. He gets Punk's legs on his shoulders for a Power Bomb into a pin, which Punk kicks out of.

While Punk's still down, Max whips him across the back with the chain, giving him a huge line of welts along his spine. Punk writhes around in pain, kicking his feet (as he's wont to do). They trade blows back and forth until Punk throws Max into the corner and knees him in the face. He tries to go for a headlock, but Max pulls the chain and sends him crashing to the ground. He pulls Punk to his knees by the hair and punches him in the face twice with the chain wrapped around his fist. These punches re-open the head wound that Max gave Punk on March 2nd, and Punk starts bleeding. Max yanks the chain around Punk's mouth, before scraping it across his head wound.

Max rolls out of the ring and yells at an announcer to "gimme the FUCKING mic!" He jumps back in the ring with the microphone and stomps on Punk's hand. "Do me a favor, old timer," he says, stomping on Punk's hand again. "How bout you tell these people you don't care about them, how bout you tell these people you wanna quit?" He kneels above Punk's chest, grabbing him by the collar. "Just like you quit on me?! Say it! Say it!" He shoves the mic into Punk's bloody face, who replies "Eat shit, Max." MJF punches his head with the mic a few times before jumping up on the ropes. "You schmucks don't get it, do you?" He says, but he doesn't get to finish, because Punk yanks the chain down and makes him faceplant into the ground.

He gets Max on his back and props his legs up before headbutting him in the dick, which smears Punk's blood all over his thighs. He throws Max against the ropes and punches the chain into his stomach on the rebound, then sweeps his legs from behind, landing him on his back. He jumps off the ropes to land a blow on Max's head. Punk swings Max into the corner and knees him in the face again, before wrapping the chain around Max's neck. He does some sort of a drop (I literally can't hear what the commentator calls the move) on Max, and then whips the chain across his back, just like Max did to him earlier. "Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it, bud?" He says as Max yells in pain. He does it a second time as Max writhes (so hard that he catches some air. He's kind doing the worm), and a third time as Max grabs onto the ropes and arches his back (that part's important. To me). Punk wraps the chain around Max's right hand and drops his knee into it, over and over, trying to break his fingers so he can't put his ring on. Still, Max refuses to call the match.

Punk puts his hands to his face, signaling his finisher, Go To Sleep (A move where he lifts his opponent onto his shoulders and drops them onto his knee). He lifts Max onto his shoulders for a GTS, but Max digs his fingers into Punk's open head wound, making him let go. Using the leverage from the chain and the collar, he puts Punk in a sleeper hold. Groggy from blood loss and the headlock, Punk drops to the mat, letting Max get him in a scissor hold. The reference lifts his arm up to see if it falls (if it falls slack three times, then Max wins). It drops to his chest twice, but on the third test, Punk holds his arm up, shaking. He manages to get to his feet, with Max still holding the headlock, but manages to kick off the corner and use his body weight to knock Max over. They roll into a pin, but Max kicks out.

Holding his hand in pain, Max kicks Punk in the dick. He tries to Power Bomb him, but his hand is hurting too much. He tries again, but Punk reverses it and lifts him up for a Go To Sleep. He drops Max into his knee, but Max blocks it and spins him around into a submission hold. He tries to do his finisher, Salt of the Earth (a Fujiwara Armbar submission hold), but because of his hand injury, he can't quite lock it in. Punk rolls him over into a pin, which he kicks out of, but is immediately put into an Anaconda Vice submission hold. Max nearly taps, but manages to pull Punk's hair and roll him into a pin, which Punk kicks out of.

As Max sits and catches his breath, Punk goes to attack him, but Max yanks the chain and sends Punk through the ropes. He tries to do his signature piledriver, the Heatseeker, but Punk reverses it and throws Max to the mat. Punk crawls back into the ring and starts to wrap the chain around his knee. He hits Max with a Shining Wizard (a leaping knee attack) that cracks his forehead open and knocks him out of the ring. Punk wraps the chain across Max's eyes as his face starts to bleed, punches him in the face a few times, and hops off the apron as the crowd starts to chant "you deserve it" at MJF. Punk punches him with the chain and sends him into the barricade, beating him up right up against the cheering crowd. Punk drags him by the collar and throws him against the steel steps leading into the ring.

Punk punches him once more with the chain, and starts wrapping the chain around his knee for another knee strike, but right when he goes for it, MJF dodges out of the way, sending Punk into the steel steps himself. The comination of the steel steps and the chain around his knee hurts Punk's leg pretty badly, and the two of them lie on the ground, exhausted and in pain. As Max gets up onto his hands and knees, Punk whips the chain across his back again, pulls him up by the hair, and punches him in the face with the chain. He throws Max back into the ring and once again signals Go to Sleep. He tries to lift Max, but his hurt leg gives out, and both of them fall to the floor. Max takes the opportunity to hit Punk in his bad knee and dig his fingers into his head wound. (Also right here they both get the chain tangled in the ropes and since neither of them take advantage of it I think it's a shoot which is kinda really endearing).

Max gets Punk in position for a Tombstone (that position basically being a vertical 69), but his injured hand gives out and he bends backwards, perfectly flipping their position. Punk delivers a Tombstone (basically dropping Max on his head), but it ends up hurting Punk more than Max, since he ends up landing on his injured knee. The two lie there in pain for a while, as the crowd starts chanting "CM Punk." There's so much blood that the referee needs to get a fresh pair of gloves. Punk uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, still limping from his leg injury. He sits on the top rope and reels in the chain, wrapping it around his bicep as Max lies supine.

Punk stands on the ropes and shouts "best in the world!" before going for an elbow drop. At the last moment, Max rolls out of the way, and Punk crashes to the ground, missing him. As he cradles his hurt arm, Max drags himself on top of Punk for a pin. Punk rolls out of the pin and rests his arm on Max's back. The two lie there for a moment, face down, practically holding each other. Max slides under the ropes and retrieves a small black bag from under the ring. He empties it, spilling silver thumbtacks all over the mat. He delivers a rising knee strike to Punk in the corner, and then signals Punk's own finisher, Go to Sleep, to a chorus of boos. He puts Punk in a headlock, ready to throw him into the tacks, but Punk bites down on his right hand, which was already injured. Punk keeps Max's thumb between his teeth until Max kicks him in his bad leg and he's forced to let go.

Max punches Punk several times, nearly knocking him into the tacks, but Punk manages to regain his balance each time and kicks Max away. They both try to give the other a Brain Buster (flipping them over their shoulder into the tacks), but both fail. They trade blows until Punk hits Max with a roundhouse kick that sends him face-first into the corner. Punk gets on the ropes above him and shoves Max's head between his legs for a Pepsi Plunge (I can't explain it. It's a move from his Ring of Honor days.), but Max pushes his legs out from under him and he can't complete the move. Max hoists Punk over his shoulder into a superplex and Punk lands directly on the tacks. Max lies on top of Punk for a pin, which Punk punches out of. They both have tacks stuck in them (Punk obviously more than Max) as they slowly sit up. Max wraps his hand in the chain and punches Punk back down into the tacks. He crawls on top of Punk, the tacks digging into his own knees, and goes for another pin, which Punk punches out of again.

Max crawls away, cradling his hand, and we see that somehow, the chain has come unhooked from his collar. He screams for Wardlow to come out. As Wardlow emerges, the ref rehooks the chain to MJF. Max holds his hand out for the ring, but Wardlow, checking every pocket on his suit, doesn't have it. "The fuck are you doing?" Max yells, back turned as Punk starts to get up behind him. "You got one job!"

Punk yanks Max towards him, straight into a Go to Sleep. Punk collapses in pain from his knee as Max lands directly on the tacks. Wardlow locks eyes with CM Punk and reaches into his suit to reveal that he did actually have Max's ring the whole time. "Oops," he shrugs, smiling. Wardlow sets the ring on the mat, right in front of Punk. He exits to overwhelming cheers from the audience, having finally turned against Max once and for all.

Punk smiles and slides the ring onto his finger. He holds Max by the collar and pulls him to his knees (in an incredibly sensual way. Even for this match). He holds Max by the chin and flashes the ring at him. Max spits in his face. Punk decks him with the ring, knocking him down for a final pin. The ref counts to three, and Max doesn't kick out. Punk has officially won!

He sits there in the ring, smiling, panting, covered in blood, as Max lays defeated beside him. He limps to his feet and yanks the collar away from the refs as they unhook it from Max. He swings it above his head, victorious, as his theme plays over the speakers. He exits with the chain wrapped around him, bloody and victorious. That's the end of the story!

But What About Mike?

I know you're all desperate to know my personal relationship with this storyline or these wrestlers, especially with how fast this hyperfixation crept up on me. (Apologizing specifically to Charlie. Sorry that your brother got bit by the wrestling bug and now he won't shut tf up about MJF. It happens sometimes.) The short answer is that this is all Mick's fault. They've always been a wrestling fan, but early 2025, their fixation came back in a big way. By virtue of hanging out with them a lot, I ended up seeing a lot of wrestling matches, and I got passively invested. Over time, I got more and more into it until one day while we were smoking together, Mick showed me, Mare, and a bunch of our other friends the full 2024 Drew Mcintyre vs CM Punk feud (which culminated in a truly amazing Hell in a Cell match). We were all absolutely floored.

From then on, I was totally hooked. Mick said that the next one we had to watch was the MJF vs CM Punk feud, which I'd heard about from a post they made a few months back about the match (FTR I'm not the roommate in question. But I was absolutely intrigued by this description.) We smoked and they put on Better Than You, an incredibly well-made documentary-style video that documents the whole feud. If Punkintyre floored me, CMJF put me beneath the earth. I don't know what about it was different. I think I just really like MJF as a wrestler. I love a cocky annoying shitty awful rich boy jackass character, I guess. Plus, the Valentine thing and the dog collar match and the (frankly, hilarious) emotional monologue that MJF does...it was all perfect.

That weekend I got sick and couldn't do anything for days so I just rewatched Better Than You over and over again. I loved it even more when I was sober. I fell down a fanfiction rabbit hole, I made a bunch of near-identical edits to various emo songs (which you can find on this Instagram account. The first one was posted September 30th.) It was really drastic.

CMJF isn't the only part of wrestling that I like, though! I loved the aforementioned Punkintyre feud, of course. In terms of modern-day stories, my favorite is by far Iyo Sky's falling out with the Kabuki Warriors and her unlikely team-up with Rhea Ripley. I especially love Kairi Sane's role in it. CM Punk's long-ass feud with Seth Rollins (the tag match with AJ Lee and Becky Lynch is one of my favorite matches I've ever seen.) AJ Lee's comeback is AMAZING, she's probably my favorite wrestler in the WWE right now. Even though I much prefer Raw to Smackdown, Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair are really fun, and I like Tiffany Stratton a lot, too. LA Knight is fun, Stephanie Vacquer is fun, Chelsea Green & the Secret Hervice are fun. I really like the Street Profits in the ring, even though I don't really know what their story is. Plus everything happening with Seth Rollins and the Vision?? Especially after 10/14 Raw?? Amazing. I haven't kept up with modern-day AEW, though I really want to do an MJF deepdive one of these days, cause I just love him. He's such a fun heel.

The thing about being hyperfixated on CMJF, though, is that it happened four whole years ago, as of the creation of this page. I'm extremely late to the game. Even though it's a historically massive feud that's shaped both Punk and Max's characters to this day, most wrestling fans are more invested in current day storylines. So imagine my surprise when I go to Mick's apartment on October 6th, 2025 to watch Monday night Raw and CM Punk says MJF's catchphrase live on air.

CM Punk and LA Knight were having a dick-measuring contest about who beat Seth Rollins more or better or what the fuck ever. And I'm a little bit stoned. And then, at the end, Punk gets reeeeal close to the camera (like MJF does) and says "I'm better than you..." with a little upwards lilt at the end. Time stopped. Me and Mare started smacking each other in the arm. "...And everybody knows it." He finished. The room exploded. I yelled so hard my ear popped. We all rushed to tumblr. Mass carnage. 9/11. Because why the hell did he say that.

That's my story with CMJF (and wrestling as a whole) so far! I'll keep updating this as I get more into this :)